Monday, March 28, 2011

no pictures yet :(

I am sorry, no pictures yet. I have some befores on my camera and just need to upload them to the computer (I will jump right on that in all my spare time :)) and the after pictures are still a work in progress. Waiting for tile guys to finish (hopefully this week) so we can clean and move over. The house is not even close to being "done" and don't know if it ever will be but we did get most of the major things checked off the list. I am  not going to lie it has been a really hard 3 1/2 weeks. There is not one aspect of my life that has anything resembling "normal" in it. The house I live in is half packed, half furniture gone, a total disaster because it is hard to clean and put things "where they go" when they will not go there anymore very soon. The house I am moving into is a mess too. Family room full of stuff we have moved over and not yet put where it needs to be, projects half finished, fast food for dinner and late nights and the real kicker for me is I don't work out anymore. If you know me at all, that is a big deal, working out is my stress relief, my "thing", and it has been killing me to not go but I just can only do so much. The first two weeks we owned the house I spent all day over there working and then Travis would meet up with me over there after work and we would work late. This was so hard on my body, not so much at the time but I am paying now. Unfortunately, my body limits me and what I can do. I hate it and get so angry and frustrated and question but when all the dust settles and I am able to think clearly I have to remind myself that I have an auto-immune disease and in times of stress whether emotional or physical that kicks into high gear and my body turns on itself and I crash and I crash hard. It can be very frustrating to have something hold you back from doing all that you want to do but I do know that I need to listen to my body when it tells me to stop and slow down, something I am not very good at. Too bad I dont' have the luxury to just stop and relax, I HAVE to finish packing and I HAVE to move and I HAVE to feed my family, I HAVE to wash our clothes, I HAVE to take kids to violin and baseball practices and all these things I HAVE to do so I am trying to convince my body to hang on, don't totally crash yet, I need a few more weeks and then I can crash :) It is hard because I feel I have almost wasted the last eight months of hard work on getting myself healhty and doing everything the doctor asks just to have a major setback with all this craziness.It has not only been stressful for me and tiring but Travis has been SO SUPER busy with work that that by itself would have been stressful enough for any man then throw all this house stuff on top and he has been one big ball of stress and anxiety too. I feel so bad for him and wish that I could take on some of his stress for him. He is such a good man though and has been so good to get done what needs to be done and still provide for his family and make me laugh along the way. I love him so very much and am so excited to continue our journey through life together in our new home, if we could ever get there, ha ha!